Saturday, September 18, 2010

Boobenstein Shoulders Larry King and Guests

Best Foot First's Blog Dog

Boobenstein Shoulders Larry King and Guests

Professor Chuck E. Boobenstein, shouldered with Larry King and guests (see photo), finds a calming way to hover as a [talking] head with the Republican political smears and the oil-spill bravado of James Carville, CNN's chief liberal who supports both neutered (inside the beltway) and unneutered (Southern) Democrats. Along side him, Jane Lynch (Emmy Winner - 2010) provides a humble beginnings perspective from the new TV series Glee. Don't let the red pant suit or athletic gear fool you.

Chuck, survives the ordeal dodging shoulder jabs from a set of tight suspension wraps around Larry (see photo), which oddly inspire him to finish the treatise on Barcheology that he's been putting off immediately after the show (and take care of other business as needed). The shoulder pointing alone unleashes his reluctance.

Anyway, my goodness—off the [dog] path as usual, Boobenstein, from an area of Capitol Hill referred to as Ward 6, wants a topic—something to sink his teeth into. But what's the topic? Apparently today's topic calls for James Carville and Jane Lynch having a "commonality" that unravels during the show and segues neatly into 360 with Anderson Cooper, who also might have that same commonality.

As the show gets underway, and not to be in—or for God's sakes out—on today's topic, "Jimmy-James" Carville spins in the oil spill as follows:

"We needed ta hit 'em wit uh - I tell ya - some kinda football bat - ta git dem down hur - dees shrimps wur dyin' - buncha bungled beaurocrats - chewin fat cows up dar wit Obama, ca' ain't git dis url (oil) mess, uh, cleaned up - gott dang - Mur's grits ur startin' to taste like uh, uh, uh, like uh, wa-ell uh, uh, wull sum kinda dried-up possum meat . . ."

Now steam at full blast—diverting attention from his rose-bud tie—his eye glasses fog up cocked to one side, spawning a grimace that almost side-swipes Chuck off his chair (see photo). Larry quickly calls for a segment of commercials.

After the break, questions continue firing off with decent returns from Carville and Lynch, as Larry makes attempts not to cut off the enthusiasm. For example, referring to Lynch's lifestyle, "Well, I mean, for a lack of a better term—alternative." He really does think we're dumb——Holy 1972!——"for a lack of a better term" works better in colonoscopy speak, don't ya think?

Later in the show, Lynch ends up squeezing in comments like "water boarding" or "skinning cats" might be more comfortable than a moment like this. She drops the "wife bomb" on Larry to quell the "alternative" mood that Larry wants to project and everyone takes a deep breath. She calmly describes a wonderful relationship with her wife, Dr. Lara Embry (Clinical Psychologist, Smith, Columbia, University of Washington). Meanwhile, backstage Anderson Cooper paces in sheer terror, then changes back and forth between his tie ensemble and some sweaters in his collection, which Kathy Griffin (double Emmy) says could have plugged BP's Gulf oil spill quite nicely. He gets his hair cut at least one more time before his show starts.

CNN News doesn't rotate into the next day's reel without Larry's contribution to some kind of news, "brew ha ha." He ain't no "Late-Night Letterman" for crying out loud but holds his own in this special—possibly "alternative"—affairs department. Go Larry!

By staying extra focused, Chuck the Professor, rather politely, just sits there with a slight drool rolling off his lower jaw while paying close attention to Larry with one eye. He does not want Larry to know that "he's just not into" the topic or even appear as if he's begging for something that might come out of King's mouth. What the heck does Larry munch on behind the desk? Does he do that with peanuts or something that Chuck thinks will be delicious—hopefully not his teeth and surely not Percocets? The drool wells up into an oozing dollop that dangles unnoticed for the rest of the show.

The purple-pressed shirt and tight suspenders—a bit metro-sexual edgy—provide a forefront for nothing less than a typical show, broadcast live, and besides, when the topic seems vague, everyone can watch the recording three or four more times before dawn if necessary—CNN style, with, of course, Cooper's 360 chaser. Although tonight's no exception—as the topic never does come out directly (re-read post if necessary)—at least Chuck gets motivated to continue working on his barking treatise with a little less nonsense, particularly with a Larry King Live experience like this!