Thursday, February 17, 2011

Boobenstein Wags CNN's Piers Morgan

Best Foot First's Blog Dog

Boobenstein Wags CNN's Piers Morgan

Professor Chuck E Boobenstein, from an area of Capitol Hill referred to as Ward 6, wags Piers Morgan in a proper discourse of stale wit, yielding integrity, and foolish charm—even the Queen of England blushes and reveals dark secrets under these circumstances.

Chuck begins their time together with his leg up on the most critical issue—how does Piers defect from the Mother country and slide into a long-standing slot on American television? Maybe this spot was not marked with enough of a splash in the past or not at all? Chuck would never circle around these matters, as others do—in a sort of dance—leaving a big mess nearby without marking the territory. Chuck addresses these issues squarely with a haughty leg in the proper position and an aimed determination—spot on—delivering perfection that's actually quite lovely. Indeed.

With a renewed jobs, jobs, jobs chant coming from the White House, the loss of Larry King on CNN further complicates the American unemployment numbers and adds an unforeseen trickle-down element. Chuck wishes now that he didn't have that bender the day before Piers was selected for the spot. Now Obama's "Winning [T]he Future" slogan actually does become more like a "WTF," should we side with Palin on this one?

For example, quite a few of the make-up artists and fashion designers at the CNN studio prior to Morgan's arrival have been let go—apparently there's no need to fuss with the British couture for men, non-existent in most cases. Doesn't Piers actually ride a bicycle to the studio—rushing into the set at the last minute? His hair always has that wind-blown look and no evidence of any hair products having been used for years. Let's not even "go there" with the teeth.

Oh, gosh, while we're at it, who designed the colors (see photo) for the Piers Morgan set? The retro, blue-green didn't work before and does not work now, or does it? Let's place a bet that one of the displaced make-up artists ended up on the stage crew and is responsible for designing the eye-shadowy blunder.

Now back to Chuck—keeping his tail at a slumber—says nothing most of the time but gets Piers all fired up. He talks in circles around Chuck, sounding almost like the loud barking of a herding dog when the mail comes. At times, you can hear Piers' lil Morgan creep into his speech, a high-pitch dog chirping sound that really does infuse a level of enchanting sincerity that impresses Chuck. As a Professor of Barcheology, Chuck typically hears sounds like this from other constituents who want to start a new engagement, like going for a ride in the car.

The wagging begins and there's no turning back. Chuck has had enough of the show and wants to get on with his business, jumping off the chair and heading towards the door. Piers does not even offer his hand for a shake or a hug. Rituals like these crosssing international lines can often be very complicated. Chuck should not be offended. Piers did this same thing with the Kardashian sisters, when they were on the show, and he did not extend a hug or hand to either of them as they ran out. He just couldn't keep up. Oh well—not touching the royalty in England—maybe Piers has gotten things a little mixed up but he surely must be proud in his new position on CNN and most pleased to have Chuck as a guest.

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